Words

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me."

I don’t know who came up with this saying as a comeback or mantra for little kids who are being bullied or getting called names. But it’s not correct. Words can DO hurt. A lot, actually.

Take it from this “fat kid” who was suicidal as a teenager because I had no friends that EVER stood up for me, while I was bullied literally every single day. Or take it from my skinny friend whose parents told her she “shouldn't eat that” because she didn't fit in her mom’s wedding dress. Or take it from the gay neighbor guy, who hears his sexual orientation being used as a slang term for anything “uncool”.  Or take it from the special needs adult that works at the local ice cream shop, whose developmental delay is used torepresent anything from “ignorant” to “irrational”. Or just take a moment to think back to a time in your own life when the words that came out of someone else’s mouth shocked you.

You’re probably curious what started this rant. Today at work, I heard the word “retarded” used 4 times. FOUR! I was am so disgusted, I could scream! Worst part? One of my own coworkers is the one who used it. First, it was used to describe a customer who was holding, waiting for an answer to a question. Second, it was used when a technician was asking questions on behalf of the customer whose home he was at. Third, it was used to explain the feeling of (apparently) frustration at the task this person was assigned to complete. Last, it was muttered under her breath when I asked a question about a call that she took and put on the board without consulting dispatch (me) and that should not have been put on for tonight and led to me having to call another customer and cancel. Frustrating? Yes. Retarded? Uh, no, definitely not. Here's a handy flow chart to help. Maybe I'll print one and leave it on her desk.

Photo credit: Huffington Post

Words can heal, I have proof of this. I've heard a story first-hand from a medical office front desk representative of someone calling to get an appointment to see the doctor and later telling the receptionist that she intended to end her life if that person on the other end of the phone couldn't have helped her. I have had the personal experience of talking a suicidal individual into coming down from a picnic table. Those stories are something that can really restore your faith in humanity.

But how often do you remember an event when someone said something to you that wasn't out of the ordinary? I make it a point to be positive in my words as much as I can. I try to tell everyone I pass to have a nice day and I do my best to say “please” and “thank you” whenever it fits. People might be teetering on an edge, ready to crumble over one side or the other. What you say to them could be the difference between making their day better or worse. It could even mean the difference between life and death, you just never know.

Try to remember that people are people, too. Don’t say things – even under your breath – if you wouldn’t want to hear them in passing. And never say something to intentionally cut down or hurt another person. It’s unnecessary and cruel. Plus, you never know the long-term outcome of something spat out in the heat of the moment. Usually, they aren’t good consequences.

More graffiti later,

~A