Niki

My sister was the most amazing woman I've ever known.

Today is her 41st birthday. I say it that way - using the word "is" - not because I don't know how to otherwise express it, but because there isn't a better way to do so. Last night, I was chatting with a coworker of mine. I mentioned that I made the mistake of picking up the closing shift tonight and "it would have been my sister's birthday." His reply was a joking "Well, it still is her birthday" because he didn't know. What he thought he meant was just because I wouldn't be there to join the family dinner, doesn't mean it's not still her birthday. He was wrong about my absence being the one to change the celebration. But he was also so right.

Just because she isn't here to open presents doesn't mean she isn't here. Her not being in the same room with us doesn't mean her life and her spirit didn't change the lives of others over the last year. I know that thinking about her and wondering what kind of advice she would have has definitely changed the course of my life. Probably more in the last year than any other influence has. Her physical absence doesn't mean she isn't so very present in so many aspects of my life. And it DEFINITELY doesn't mean that we can't celebrate her life.

So today I sit at my desk, eating peanut butter and pickles (yep, still *gross*!) and letting out a "rawr" when I hang up with a fussy customer. And I can hear her laugh. And I can sense her presence. And I can feel her love. And it gives me reason to celebrate.

Comments are always welcome, but they'll be moderated. This one is more than just punctuated graffiti.
~A