Birthdays

It is never my intention to offend or hurt anyone with my writing. It is simply an outlet to express my opinions, raw emotion, and reactions to current events. Well, I caught a little backlash with my last post so I figured a blanket apology is in order. And, this one is a little lighter.

If you noticed, I mentioned that the day Jacob Wetterling went missing, I was 6 days old. That means my birthday was just over a week ago. It was not an intentional mention to get a few spare "happy birthday" well-wishes, just a fact that put in perspective the feelings my mother has explained to me over the years with that tragedy that struck our community and, ultimately, changed America's way of handling missing children cases.

Tonight, while chatting with someone I know (friend is a good label), he made this comment that got me thinking: birthdays are just so different once you get over twenty one! And ya know what? He is SO right!! On my birthday, actually, he asked me how old i was and my answer was a little snide (aren't you shocked??): Old enough to know better, but young enough to try it anyways. Not because I didn't want him to know, but because the number just isn't as important anymore.....

Think back: Imagine the first birthday you can think of. How old were you? The number doesn't matter now, but i'm betting you told EVERYONE how old you were going to be. And what kind of party you were going to have. And how many friends you were going to invite. And what you wanted for presents. Those were the things to think about!

And the milestone birthdays, oh man!! You turn:
5 = School! Sidenote: does anyone else think it's hilariously cruel how excited we used to be for school and how much we loved it, until about junior high when our "favorite subject" was lunch?? And at that point, we were lucky if we were half-way done with our education....
10 = double digits!
13 = TEENager!
15 = learners' permit
16 = DRIVER'S LICENSE!! Maybe even a car? Which mom crashes 3 months later... The time around my milestone birthdays all kinda sucked =\
17 = Donating blood [This was a BIG deal for me, though I was never legally able to donate blood]
18 = SO MANY! Voting rights, Military enlistment (Hooah!), gambling (if you wish), tobacco (if you're so inclined), no more curfew....
21 = Alcohol (if you choose to indulge outside the comfort of your own home)
25 = I can now rent a car.... That's totally cool, right?!

Then they're just done.... They come fast and furious every year and then *poof* that's it. Like the roadrunner and coyote, the steep drop of the edge of a cliff and now you're an adult. Celebrations are fewer and further between (maybe on the x10 years). Less people notice (unless, like me, you make a week-long celebration out of it... You all know i'm an only child, right? I'm blaming it on that) and even fewer still want to take part in celebrating. The exception here is the group of family and friends that you have that are happy to celebrate all of life's ups (and grieve all of life's downs) with you. But, if we're thinking back to that childhood birthday, even the weird kid who ate crayons would come to your birthday party -- and bring a gift! But once you're done with the milestones, they're just another day.

But my friend countered that point of view with this profound comment (edited for blog grammar rather than texting): It's more about doing something meaningful to you. Spending time with friends. Enjoying solitude. Who IS this guy?! It's like he's reading my minds and texting my thoughts to me. Well, we are both Libras, that could have something to do with it....

Another great point. Now, birthdays are markers of time that passes in your adult life. Another year of making your dreams come true, or of striving to follow them, or of letting go of the past and making the best of right now. Either way, it isn't just another day. Every birthday is a milestone for you. It's your day to celebrate your life or NOT and it's OK to embrace your independence and the idea that not everyone dotes on you. And that's just the way life is as an adult, regardless of where you are on the path.

Something to think about... Or, just more punctuated graffiti!
~A

PS: Thanks, MK, for starting such a random conversation that it inspired me to think and write. I appreciate it!