Loss

Recently, there has been some loss in my life that I'm still not sure how I'm dealing with. Maybe I'm not dealing at all. Maybe I'm dealing just fine and I'm just not used to being that emotionally healthy. Couldn't say for sure either way...

23 days is too fast for such a monumental person to have to say goodbyes. It is not nearly long enough to do what needs doing and say what needs saying and hug and love and make sure true feelings are known between people. But, that's just how life is sometimes. It ends abruptly and there's no going back to finish the unfinished or speak the unspoken words or give that last hug one more time before wishing that person safe travels and a casual "See you soon". There is guilt in my mind for how frustrated I would get over it. There is regret in my heart for not expressing myself better. There is peace in my soul knowing that he keeps his promises and WILL see me through. And there is laughter in my life from sharing memories of him with others with whom I am close.

There are days I still see him say my name. And every day I am reminded somehow of the burden he took on when he took me in. And there will not be a day in my life when I am not grateful.

~A

Arctic Tundra

Well, dinner last Friday was jacked up by the 74 inches of snow that dumped on us.... OK, OK, not 74 inches, but a LOT of snow, that happened to fall after about 2 inches of rain fell and then subsequently froze to the roads. The governor called a state of emergency, the National Guard was called out to help stranded motorists. My friend from the Guard ended up having a military class that wasn't cancelled (which I find interesting, but that's another rant entirely) and was at Camp Ripley about 3 hours from here with decent weather. He made it there and back just fine, just to have his soon-to-be-ex-wife roll it and total it on Monday.... Poor Army....

Anyways, a Chef friend of ours made it to dinner, along with Smarty (my oldest nephew), my Brother and my niece. Mom made too much food, as is her MO, and we had a great time.
Then, I worked all weekend and had school all week. Life is crazy busy, but I'm still trying to find time to hurl it out here.It's all about the punctuated graffiti.

~A

Friday Afternoon

Well, today is turning into a full day... As I type this, I've got meals in the works to finish and be prepared to make lunch and dinners out of for the next few days. Yeah, I'm a "few days at a time" prepper, a whole week feels like way too much to cram into 1 day of cooking. Plus, then how am I supposed to get my frustrations out later in the week?? So, today I cooked enough to feed us at least through Monday.

I work double shifts this weekend, so today was going to just be food prep and relaxing but then... people. Last week, I was complaining that I didn't have any good friends and that I couldn't find anyone to socialize with, and today I've got people swarming around. Maybe it's because they smell the food...

Woke up this morning to a text from my brother asking what I was doing. Snow day for his kids today means the 3 of them were bothering each other before the clock even struck 7:30. So, I get the oldest one. Cool! He's on his laptop in front of me right now, playing Minecraft. Oh, to be a 13-year-old boy seems so relaxing! Ha, no thanks.

Then, a few Deaf friends are coming over to my (hearing and ASL-clueless) mom's house for dinner. Should be a good time for sure! Whenever we have friends or family come over, we call the dinner a Smorgasbord, which I only recently realized isn't an English word. My mother always makes way too much food - she used to be a caterer and can't divide. ;)  Interpreting this shindig could prove to be interesting, though. I'll be the only hearing bilingual person there, with 3 other hearing people and 2 Deaf. Hopefully, I can convince my awesome friend to join us and help me, since he's fluent in ASL also.

Well, for now, I'm off to bother my nephew into playing a game with me, then errands that need to be run. You'll read all about it later, I'm sure. Or not. After all, it's not like I'm writing a novel that requires set information about my life events. It's just punctuated graffiti...
~A

Hello All!

And welcome to my blog!

I hope you enjoy all that you will find here. The blog name came from spinning a quote from the movie Contagion: Blogging is not writing. It's just graffiti with punctuation.
 Most of it will be emotion-fueled ranting about life's ups and downs. But, hey, a lot of it might make you feel better about your own life! Ha!

I'm not here to look for pity, or even advice. It's more just a place to hurl out my thoughts so they don't turn inward. Somewhere I read that human adults are capable of thinking 300 words in 1 minute. That's a lot! Can you imagine what 5 minutes of negative thinking or self-degradation could do to your mind and spirit? We're talking serious damage!

So, I'd prefer to spew it out here on the keyboard... And let you all read it and criticize it. I'll listen, but I probably won't let it bother me.
After all, it's just punctuated graffiti! ;]
~Al