Missing Yourself

Do you ever miss yourself?

The you you were before your first heartbreak? That changes you - the way you feel safety in a promise someone makes to you.

Do you ever miss the you you were before the first time you had to alter the path of your life? That changes you - the sense of adventure you feel when you talk about the future.

What about the you you were before someone broke your trust? That changes you - the new apprehension you feel when you think about letting someone in on the secrets of your world.

Or maybe the you you were before you first failed at something? That changes you - it clouds the way you think about taking risks.

Is it the you you were before you saw some of the evil in the world? That changes you - it thickens the walls of your comfort zone.

On occasion, do you miss the you you were before someone you called a "friend" walked out of your life? That changes you - it develops an internal concern that other friends will also make their way for an exit.

Perhaps you miss the you you were before you lost someone you loved? That changes you - people we love often take along a piece of us.

Do you ever miss yourself?
Because sometimes I do.

More graffiti later,
~A

Supporter

Okay, guys. Most of you have met my mom. If you haven't met her in person, you've probably seen her commenting on Facebook and almost everyone agrees: she's pretty great!

On top of always loving my friends as if they are our family, taking care of everyone she meets, and making sure all is well with all her loved ones, she supports me NO QUESTIONS ASKED. 

Yesterday, I sent her a picture of some snacks I recently discovered and asked her to let me know if she found them anywhere. I told her "If you find these in a grocery store will you let me know? I've only seen them at holiday and it's frustrating lol" and this is the rest of the conversation. 

Mind you, I AM the type of person to casually  drop a "oh, by the way, I also recently fell in love" so she's not off-base by checking.... But she never misses a beat!

I am amazed that there are still people in the world that don't care about their children's feelings enough to say "Well then f*ck the rest of societal norms, I love my child NO MATTER WHAT" because there is already so much bad in the world, kids need only the best from the people at home. 

My mom often says "I wish I could've done better at this" or "I tried my best at that" and points out the mistakes she made along the way but it means nothing! I've always known that if I need something, my mom will be there at a moments notice and she will always have my back. She has supported me and my decisions, without hesitation, for almost 28 years! (I say almost because I'm not quite 28 and she definitely questioned - and was unhappy with - my decision to hang out in utero for an extra 4 weeks! Sorry about that, ma...)

Be the type of person the next generation writes blog posts about!!

More graffiti later,

~A

PS: Iluwamh, Mother!!

Fragile

Look around you and notice how many people are near. Not right this moment, but throughout the day as you go on with your life, notice them. They are fragile; each and every one of them. Your presence or absence, words or silence, positive energy or negativity - all make a difference at any given time. Be the good in the world, because there is already too much bad. 

I wrote this, thinking about the inner spirit that stays dormant in individual people. How breakable some are, how strong others may be.

Notice the people around you, and don't fail to acknowledge their spirit. 

More graffiti later,

~ A

Deep in my soul, there lies the unbroken spirit of a girl who is still a hopeless romantic. 

I keep her thoughts to myself because the world is not particularly kind to girls like her. 

On occasion, little cars from her train of thought will derail and come out during conversation; those are moments in which we feel truly vulnerable. 

Often, I wish I could set her free but that would be condemning her to pain and loneliness. A life void of love is the most miserable kind of living one can do. 

She is safe where she lay; cloaked in a life surrounded by people who give love freely, inside a soul with the same seeking passion as that of her own. 

She lives a life of veiled happiness, for she creates her own love and destiny is in her control.